funeral of God

what if God were to abandon humanity the way much of mankind has abandonded him?

Live...from the funeral of God, this is the day you've awaited, sponsored and celebrated, he has answered your prayers, corpses have piled up with your riches, they have spilled over onto the earth, we spit and wear our fear like masks, everything is locked into a form, (interrupt the feed), it's closing in... the sky is so dark, are men no worse than demons? Are armies not thirsty for blood? The desire of their hearts has been met, eons and eons, decades of liars, drunk with power atop a mountain of corpses, their arms and legs fail and they crawl like serpants, to address those who are mourning, live from the funeral of God, there is no reason to be afraid, everything is under control, we shall miss him.

konfabulator

well. just got this program a few days ago. almost as good as the dashboard for mac-osx, but they still work pretty well. finished making a google search wideget, mainly because there wasnt one that was a "darker" color that would match some peoples backgrounds. here it is to download:


Download: .widget | .zip

konfabulator homepage

definition for the day

monotonous:
mo·not·o·nous
adj.

1. Sounded or spoken in an unvarying tone.
2. Tediously repetitious or lacking in variety. See Synonyms at boring.

also see: banausic, blah, boring, colorless, dreary, droning, dull, flat, ho hum, humdrum, monotone, nothing, pedestrian, plodding, prosaic, recurrent, redundant, reiterated, repetitious, repetitive, same, samely, sing-song, soporific, tedious, tiresome, toneless, treadmill, unchanged, unchanging, uniform, uninflected, uninteresting, unrelieved, unvaried, unvarying, wearisome, wearying

throwing a wrench into the close-minded religious machine pt. 2

"I can see it comin' on the horizon
Sky turning black, it's raining down
Can't move my feet, cannot be shaken
Not movin', I'm standing so firm
I can't be moved
I will stand
I will stand
When everything falls away
I will fight this war forever or until I die
I will stand
I will stand
When everyone falls away
I will fight this war forever or until I die
All these things coming against me
I have the choice to fall or fight
I cannot be moved
You give me the strength
Help me fight, help me fight
I'm standing so firm
I can't be moved
I'm standing so firm
I can't be moved
I will stand
I will stand
When everything falls away
I will fight this war forever
Or until I die
I will stand
I will stand
When everyone falls away
I will fight this war forever
Or until I die
And I'm standing so firm
On this ground you've sat before me
I'll fight for this with my last breath
I'll fight for this till I die
I can't be moved"

nice guys finish last

yea. nice guys finish last. its not a cliche, its a life story.

throwing a wrench into the close-minded religious machine

well. thinking and discussing about christianity really made me think today. for a while i have never quite understood christians in general. sometimes i am ashamed to call myself a christian, not for my faith, but because the "image" you might say is so perverted from all the legalism, differences in beliefs, and judgement. people are so close-minded about things. because you have piercings or tattoos, you are considered less-christian than one that is "normal". if you act different, talk different, or even find sexual attraction in the same sex, you are automaticly judged, and labeled "sinner" or "in-sin" because you dont live up to the typical stereotype that people, mostly christians themselves have made. just because someone has piercings or tattoos doesnt make them any less of a christian. i want to destroy this mindset. i dont understand how you are loving your neighbor by judging their faith by how they look/act/talk. the 2 greatest commandments are love God, and love your neighbor. that itself is hard to do. open your eyes. i dont understand all these denominations. i just dont understand this "religion". if there is this narrow path that we must follow, how do 20 or some odd number of denominations fit with all their different beliefs? i will not and do not support any church, school, camp, or anything that promotes/allows such things to happen. this is my problem with church, this is something i am willing to take on, this is something i will fight for... a change. a difference.

twenty minutes

hmm. twenty minutes. it can be either long, short, full of excitement, or totally bland. it can make or break a lot of things. twenty minutes of raw video lost is like cutting off a limb right now. i need it that bad, but i dont have it. its gone. lost. ah. what would life be without constant frustration? always a hitch, always something that goes to hell. well i gotta pick up the pieces and continue. man, i could use a drink. doesnt matter...alcohol, non-alcohol, poison, bleach, water, blood...its all the same. if all could work fine just once, just once is all i wish...

goin to town

yesterday. monday. usually the worst day of the week. you've just had a nice but very fast weekend, and now onto the beginning of the weekdays, with 5 days to go to the next weekend. but yesterday was strangely a better day than most mondays. went to town twice, with different people each time. it was nice. made up a "slogan" perhaps about a person here. ill advertise once we actually make the shirts. today. tuesday, got up later than usual, i lost my phone and other things, and didnt have an alarm. oh well. stressed about this week, got some more stuff to do besides the video (WeirdCam) as well as the staff video which is probably only like 2 minutes so far. man, if i could just have the footage already, or the weirdcam done...i wish...

the good, the bad, but no ugly

so today...a weird mixture of the good and bad.
good: no work, nothing to worry about, sleep, jamba juice.
bad: no car, heat, thinking too much, oakhurst

explanation: saturdays there is usually nothing for us (hi-fi team) to do, so we get to sleep and not work. most people are off by 1 or 2pm, and then scatter. not alot of people hang out on the mountain, so they go to bass lake or oakhurst, or hiking or something. the more people gone, the harder it is to find a car. the heat really gets to you, especially when your in and out of a car, so the a/c isnt too effective. being in the low 100s, its hard to stay dry. on top of that, just thinking about life really brings me down. oakhurst is a small city. theres not much to do but go grocery shopping. not much money to spend, and still thinkin of life. living here is a struggle it seems. like you do so much, but accomplish so little. frustrating. dreaming of lbc...i wish...

7:14am

i hate mornings.

midpoint+3

another quite productive day. still got plenty more to do, and the stress is slowly building. thurdays are like that though. the worst day of the week besides mondays. got a lot to come together, and all i want to do is go to my room and play guitar, even though there is only an acoustic in there, it still works. its so hard to write new music when the sound settings arent what you are used to playing, and the fact that it is an acoustic, and not an electric. other than work, there is so much stuff to think about. its like LA during rush our the thoughts are moving through my head. i need to relax. slow down. but i cant. too much work to do. tomarrow looks so good right now...i wish...

today.

today was a much better day than any i have had for quite a while. goin to this mexican resturant for breakfast/lunch was a much needed break from the daily grind of recording/editing/recording/editing/sleeping, and then up again the next day for the same. very productive day i would say too. thinking way too much about playing guitar. sometime i will play, get out all my ideas, frustrations and what not. still thinking about the first night...i wish...

burrito loco - $6.75

francos sierra market. i love em.

yesterday. today. tomarrow.

midpoint+1. tiring day i must say. looking foreward to tomarrow. first time i have said that in a while...days go so fast, but slow at the same time. a day could be an hour long, or a week long. looking ahead seems so long from now, but looking back seems like yesterday. its been 5 weeks? strange. i still remember vividly going to "the forks" on bass lake, getting a grilled cheese and a chocolate malt and just talking to new co-workers. deciding not to go bowling, and driving home talking to a really wonderful person instead. she is amazing. wish i could go back to that nite, but i dont want to start all over again. i dont hate this place. just frustrated with it. tired of routine. very glad to be here. just remembering the first night...i wish...

late night

very late night last night. up till around 330am, then tried to wake up at 715am so i could get ready for breakfast. it didnt happen. i shut off my alarm and went back to sleep, and woke up around 1145am. nice. it was very nice to get to hang out with some cool people, just chill and talk for a while. relieves stress pretty well. the worst part was heading towards my room at 315am after picking up my laundry knowing i have to actually wake up the next day. no way to sleep through 5 weeks. would be nice...i wish...

a bit frustrated?

aaah. so frustrating. my life rite now exists between 500 feet of trees, dirt, bugs, and mountains. im a city person. lived there all my life. living here for 10 weeks is almost breaking me physically and emotionally. its now week 5. midpoint. not much behind, and so much ahead. i want it to end, but at the same time, wish i could be around these people forever. such the paradox...i wish...